Comander Peepers and Lord Hater have realistic sex!
by thepopsiclebrothers
Summary: the tittle says it all. they have sex and its realistic.


WARNING: the following is a 1 shot story meant to satisfy the sadistic humour of the author who made this for "shits and giggles". this is in no way a "respectable" fan fiction. Anybody who actualy is here for a real romantic fan fictions will be disapointed ...or maybe pleased. who knows? The following story is what the author thinks commander peepers and lord hater having sex would be like with out all the porn cliches. also this is a 1 shot so this won't be revised, there will probably be a lot of spelling mistakes. sorry.

They've been dating for a while. Ever since the confession after Lord Dominator was exiled from the galaxy after she tried to kill everybody, the comander and his boss have been totally banging! ..well not really. this occasion was their first try together.

Lord Hater comes from a species that doesn't use sex to reproduce. He's a skeleton. Penises are made of flesh. Skeletons do not have flesh. There for, Skeletons do not have penises. Or vaginas for that matter. It seemed like sex would be impossible between the skeleton man and the tiny little watch dog but peepers was horny as fuck and was determined to fuck his boss by any means necessary.

peepers strut into the room, (like he always does by the way. have you seen this guy walk? it's fucking sexy as fuck. no seriously, he hold himself with suck confidence and attitude. like jeasus, this dude's got so much personality that it even shows in his basic walk cycle) and striped naked.

"WOW PEEPERS! I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'VE GOT A NAPOLEON COMPLEX NOW!" hater laughed to himself.

"what the fuck is that suppossed to mean!?" peepers barked back at him.

"its... uh... small"

"I'M NOT ERECT YOU MORON! THAT'S WHEN IT'S BIGGER! jeez..." peepers feeling were hurt. he hated himself for being shorter than the average watchdog, who was already pretty short to begin with. he didnt need feelings of inferiority because of his dick size on top of that. besides, his dick is a WHOLE inch over the regular watchdogs'! how that for over compensation in other places?

"how do you get erect?" hater asked cluelessly.

"stimulation ...or you naked ...or just you in general" peepers blushed

hater got naked. he was just a sekelton with lightning bolts for eyes. strange. not very apealing but to peepers it was hot as fuck. he got a insta-boner. his pupil also turned into a big heart.

"ok so how do we do this?"

"maybe i can just thrust on your pelvis?"

"yea try that." hater replied a little uncomfortably.

hater lay down and peepers climbed on top and started thrusting against hater's pelvis. he kept up this motion for about a minute in awkward silence with hater just blankly staring at him. it was very uncomfortable. like extremely uncomfortable to the point where you can feel the other person's discomfort just by entering the room.

"this isnt doing much. lets try somthing else" peepers said and climbed off of hater. He tried to do it on other bones but none seem to feel good.

"so what else?" hater asked.

"blow job?"

"whats that?"

"its when you put a dick in your mouth and suck." peepers indicated.

hater was disgusted but did it anyways because he wanted to make peepers happy. it was a cold wet sensation for peepers. the teeth grinded against his shaft and it hurt peepers a bit. he told hater to stop trying to deep throat him since it hurt and he was gaging to much. instead hater just licked the dick and occasionally sucked on the tip. his mouth lacked flesh like everything else on his body so it wasnt warm like a regular mouth.

after a while they changed to a hand job. it was a strange sensation feeling all those tiny hand bones moving around. it felt good tho and eventualy peepers came.

"welp its over now! lets never do this again!" hater exclamed

"but sir it wasnt that bad, was it?"

"yes it was! lets never do this again!"

"oh ok.." peepers replied with a disapointed tone.

and they never had sex again! the end!


End file.
